Lost your confidence in the bedroom? Fear not, these evidence-based tips will help you regain your mojo.
No one feels like a stud in the bedroom every time they have sex. Feeling less than adequate in this department is totally normal. According to Petra Zebroff, relationship counsellor and sex therapist, “Everybody is having (some sort of) confidence issues when it comes to sex”. Don’t fret, we’ve got several practical tips to help you reframe the way you think about and engage in sex. It’s not all about ‘spicing things up’ either.
Tip #1: Be more present
Is your mind somewhere else? If you’re worrying about the to-do list waiting for you at the end of your bedroom venture, you’re less likely to enjoy the experience. You’re also more likely to worry about the way your body looks when you’re less engaged in the sensual side of sex.
Practice mindfulness to help you refocus on the moment. It’s good practice to build this into your everyday life, but if you want to be more mindful during sex, focus on the things you can see and feel. Let your senses bring you back to the moment.
Tip #2: Try Edging
Lots of men are concerned about premature ejaculation. If you’re looking for a medical solution to this common concern, click here to complete our quick online consultation. Otherwise, you could try edging. Edging is a way of masturbating where a men gets as close to climax as possible and then stops, to delay reaching orgasm. This has been found to help delay ejaculation and may promote more intense orgasms. Win win! This may help you feel more in control of your own sexual experience.
Tip #3: Discuss Preferences
News flash: you shouldn’t be expected to just know what to do. Every partner is different, with different preferences. Your needs might change from partner to partner, too. Have open conversations with your partner about what they like in bed, and let them know that you’d like to learn and explore together. Talk positions, turn ons (and offs) and don’t let pride stop you from having these conversations.
Tip #4: Leave your Expectations at the Door
Assume a growth mindset when having sex. Enjoy each interaction and don’t worry if something awkward happens or if your positions just aren’t clicking. Sex is about exploration and no two encounters are the same- it would be boring if they were.
Tip #5: Laugh with Each Other
Laughter is attractive, and it puts you and your partner at ease (as long as you’re not laughing at them, of course). Humans are flawed and you don’t have to perform immaculately. Let yourself laugh when something’s funny.
Tip #6: Get Regular Exercise
A recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found an association between regular exercise and better erectile and sexual functioning. Being generally healthy and fit may offer you more strength and stamina in the bedroom, and it’s likely to improve your self-confidence.
Tip #7: Don’t Learn from Porn
Don’t get your sex education from porn. It’s not a realistic representation of healthy sexual relationships. Do you know the difference between the vagina and the labia? Do women actually ejaculate? Is lube really necessary for anal sex? Knowledge is power.
Tip #8: Switch It Up
Here comes the most obvious but maybe least important tip for improving sexual confidence: spice things up to keep sex interesting. Trying something new in the bedroom can help you feel more sexually savvy, as it’s the same old routines that make us question our allure. You don’t have to be bold, simply try a new position, have sex in a different room or switch up foreplay.
Medical Support
If you’re experiencing erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation on a regular basis you may be eligible for medical support. To see what options are available to you, click here to take our quick online consultation.